you like your girls insane

well i swear all we have is ups and downs… but i cant stay away.

dear god. i hate myself for this. i dont know what to do.

its an easy answer that i want to avoid.

i love you, so much but i hate your guts.

idk what im supposed to do. all i feel is you, i dont want any one else.

i love you so much. so much. so so much. my first day alone i need to do something productive.

Well

almost 6 months…almost.

I have had all my doubts, and all my worrys and i now glad to know so did you.

i am in love with you…and you know now! You say you feel the same way, and i believe you! It just makes me sad that i have to go away soon! very soon! and i wanna be with you every second of every day! I love you so much. and im glad i said it and im glad you can tell me back! I just get so emotional thinking about being too vulnerable… it scares me. A LOT! im scared of whats gonna become of us.! I pretend like things arent a big deal because i dont want any one to see me get my hopes up or my feelings hurt!:( gahhh

IM SO IN LOVe WITH YOU!!!

well today

alone was an emotional roller coaster in itself…
imight not truly still beleive in him. but if hes offering to show me proof then i guess i have no choice but to beleive him…
its called faith…gotta have just a little to be in a successful relationship…
i love you.
dont judge me for how i feel.
even if you may not feel the same.

so…

i feel pretty content…
i think? yah
i dont think i can ask for more.

im gone….
i have an overflow of emotions…
fuck this…
i cant beleive i found a pic of your ex…
shes pretty…
shes just your type…
just my opposite…
i dont know what to say…
i dont have to say anything…
i dont know what to think well actually, my presumptiions were correct…
what do i do?…nothing let it happen its normal i guess?…
fuck this…im not gonna lie ive got my feelings hurt twice tonight… i wanna cry again…i always wanna cry!

hajs

gahh i miss you…
i want you…
i want all of you…
haha

why is it

that i always seem to make a fool out of myself infront of you;…

i jus dont get it?

fuck all the shit.

last night wass just horribly embarressing:[

i cant beleive i cried…. im a weak bitch.

….gah

fuck you/

hajajd
fuck me.

sooooo….
i dunno how im feeeling…
still. when do i ever.
im not saying you have to text me everywaking moment but come on atleast act like you wanna be around me.
i just dont wanna feel used for sex!
because no offense sex kinda sucks a lot. except from drunk occasions…
im gonna give it some time but if i do not feel like i am beneefiting at all from this relationship. adios amigo.
after thinking about it, well actually after my pms panic, i feel a little level headed and feel a lot more like myself and is willing to take charge of my life once again.
i need to start being selfish again.

why do you do the things you do.

and the the wicked things you do that make mee dream of you.
i wanna fall in love.
with you.
god what to say its been about three four ish months, and i dunno what you do to me. you make me want to stay with you.
you make me wanna hide.
you make me feel everything at once.
yet i wanna escape you.
i dont wanna be the girl who beleives everything you say, and follows you like a little puppy. but i dont wanna be the girl who doesnt let things happen because she thinks shes better then that. i wanna be the girl who can beleive it without asking questions and if i get hurt take it as a learning experience and move on.
i wanna be the girl who doesnt have to worry about if youre thinking about me as much as i think about you.
i used to like not knowing what you were thinking but now i wanna know every little thing that crosses your mind.
im being such a worrysome girl. because i love you sadley…
sadley i do.
not inlove. but i wanna be the girl you want. not settle for.
even though insome cases i kinda settled for you.
but i do love you, but i wont admit it to you because i know you dont feel the same. because if you did you would say it i know.

idunoo

why i feel like im breaking down…
im ruining this but youre just making it worse.
i need space and im glad im getting it, im pretty sure
youre not taking me out because you dont wanna spend a buttload of money on a girl who you are unsure about…
i dont blame you but i just want some honesty.

whythefuck

are you so good to me.
sexualy i think we do not mesh…
but i want you.
i dunno what to do…
this is all so new to me.
let me take it in!

baha

you confuse me. so does she.
fuck me.

gfh

you have me wrapped around your finger!
i will do almost anything to feel you…

i think.

im pretty sure i need to end it…but its because you know how i feel but i still feel like i dont know what youre feeling.
ive had too many ups and downs…
and its becoming so real and serious its scarying me.
i will give it time but until i knw for sure im cutting off sex until i know for sure whats going on in that head of yours.
i feel uncomfortable knowing that you know…everything…